It is the end. Well, at least the end of my program. I will be in Argentina a little longer.
We have come to the end and it comes with mixed emotions. Believe me. I am smiling and tearing up at the same time as I write this post.
On one hand, I am so not ready to leave this place that has been my home for the past several months. Not ready to leave all of my new friends here. Not ready to leave the quirks of Buenos Aires. Not ready to say goodbye to all the amazing people I've met.
On the other hand, I am so ready to return home. To see my family and friends. To not have to navigate a huge city everyday. To go back to Kenyon (...for senior year. how scary).
To be honest, I came into this experience not really knowing what to expect. Four months ago, I was nervous/excited/terrified/ready/scared out of my mind/up for an adventure all at the same time. I felt so ready to leave my three-month long winter break. I felt so ready to get out of the Kenyon bubble for a little while and push myself to do something new, but at the same time, I was unsure of whether pushing myself to a different continent was the right thing to do. To come live in a new country. To speak a new language. To move in with a random family. To experience a culture thousands of miles away of home. I am funny in that way. I love adventuring and exploring. Love experiencing new things and meeting new people, but like most people, find this kind of thing to be extremely terrifying. I just pretended like it wasn't that big of a decision....Until it all hit me and I started tearing up in the airport, but that's not really related to my main point.
Back to my point.... However, I am happy to report that it all worked out! It really did. More than really did. I have made it to the end and not only made it, but had the most unique and inspiring and challenging experience along the way. I am not sure I can even put it into words. If you had asked me four months ago what I would have experienced and what I would be like at the end, I probably would have told you, "Living in a new country and improving my Spanish."
Those two things are true.
However, four months later, I, Rebecca, have climbed the oldest mountain range in Argentina, have witnessed a birth, have taught sex education to teenage boys, have drank mate in more places than I can name, have walked home alone at night, have sat/slept on buses for more hours than I have in my entire life, have worked in the emergency room, have run along the Argentine coastline, have planned and executed my own trip, have experienced my first Spanish seder, have developed and carried out my own fieldwork (and written a 45-page paper in Spanish!), have sat in a mud hut with a medicine woman and talked for hours, have learned the ins and outs of hostels, have navigated a huge city, have lived with a family that is not my own, have spoken a new language, have been all over Argentina....and those are just some of the tangible things. Just look through my blog. This has been quite the journey.
One of my wise friends at Kenyon, a study abroad expert and one of my blog readers, told me before I left, "Everyone changes during study abroad." To be honest, that kind of freaked me out. However, it is true. It is completely and utterly true. I can tell that I have changed a lot, a lot and I've been told that I will be able to tell even more once I return to the US and you know what? I am okay with that. I am ready to begin senior year with a new vengeance, new worldview and new Rebecca. Well not new Rebecca, but definitely reformed Rebecca. It is silly/impossible to leave an experience unchanged and unlike in most other facets of my life, I've decided that this kind of change isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I can't even fully put the change into words, but the biggest thing that has come from it is a bigger self reassurance that I'll be okay after Kenyon. I know that probably sounds silly...especially to those who don't realize what kind of bubble I go to college in. I love Kenyon so much, but I go to school in a small bubble in the middle of rural Ohio. In a year, I will be in the real world (I am not rushing it though). Now, I don't want to be too confident, but I kind of feel after this experience I can manage that...or not manage it, but have definitely developed some real-world skills. I sometimes feel that, if I can do the colectivos, I can do anything. That probably isn't true, but still, world, I am coming for you with some new skills. Get ready.
Now, before I wrap this lengthy post up, for some of my thank you's ... Get ready. I have a bunch.
First thank-you goes to..... Deuter, Timbuk2 and the Kenyon College bookstore. My hiking backpack, messenger bag and Kenyon sweatshirt (best last minute packing decision ever) have traveled all over Argentina with me. Allllll overrrrr Argeeeennnntinnnaaaa. Literally. Without them and my parents' brilliant idea to bring them, this experience would have been a lot harder so I'd like to thank them for carrying all of my belongings in style and keeping me warm. Here is a picture of me taken by Alexis while we were backpacking over Semana Santa in my typical state...with both bags on.
To this beautiful city and country and people that have opened their arms to me, thank you. Don't cry for me, Argentina (I have been waiting for four months to use that line. I even stood on the balcony from Evita). I will return, I promise. From Chi Chi and your beautiful house in Nono to Angelina and her amazing sexual education program in Mendoza to Anna in the intensive premie unit in Tucuman to my hilarious hostel mates on the roof in Cordoba to my exciting fellow hiking companions on the Sierra Embrujadas to the inspiring women and doctors I interviewed for my ISP, you are all some of the warmest, most-welcoming, friendly, lovely people I've ever met and my experience would have been so different without you. Continue to keep up all your good work. As the old saying goes, the world will be a brighter place with you in it. Really. It is so true. To Argentina, you are a stunning country, filled with such varying landscapes and places. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with me. I am so glad to have been able to travel all over and see so much of you. I hope to be able to come back someday and see more. To Buenos Aires, oh Buenos Aires, how you have loved and challenged me from the second I landed in my sleepy state on that very, very hot, humid morning four months ago. Keep being random, not making sense and making people love you all at the same time.
To my host family, Estela and Daniel and Julia, I can never properly thank you for opening your lives and house to me and being patient as I struggled to speak Spanish sometimes during our late-night dinners (very late!). Estela, having you come turn off my light and say "hasta manana (until tomorrow)" every single night (even the days you were mad at me) made my days so much better. Daniel, having you at dinner always made the conversation lighter and took the focus off of me and my exhaustion so I thank you for being so funny and keeping your mom in line so much of the time. Julia, you kept my room so clean (way cleaner than I ever keep it at least) and me so well fed and were often my breakfast companion as nobody else was up ... why else could I really ask for? To all of you, your often brutal insight on Argentine culture (...and me and my life) helped me to understand the complexities of Argentine society and apply what I was learning in class to the real world. Hosting host students every semester is quite the endeavor and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking me in and showing me everything from how to take the colectivo to how to light the heater in my room. Although, at some points, we had disagreements, I hope that, as I do, you feel you benefited from these interactions and have come away with a better sense of how Argentine and American culture and views on issues differ. Even despite our tension sometimes, I cannot tell you how much (...especially in Spanish) having a host family and living in your house has meant to me. Although I am trying to deny it, I know the second I get home, I will miss you so, so much! Le echaré mucho y esperaré que nos encontremos otra vez!
To my real family, both my immediate and extended family, I love you all so, so much. To my immediate family, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the best cheering section and listeners and my most avid blog readers. I would have not made it through this experience without you. To my extended family, watching your joy and excitement as I go through this process has brought so much more meaning to my experience. I have loved reading all your e-mails and hearing your thoughts about things I am seeing and doing.
To my friends, both near and far. Thanks for checking in with me! I've loved telling you about my time in Argentina and your enthusiasm about my blogging. I am honored that you all read my blog so carefully and religiously.
To my program staff of Ana Rita, Valeria and Valeria, you three are the backbone of this program and have kept us running on schedule and provided support throughout the entire program. For that, thank you. We all know how much work and energy you put into this program and although, at times, we have been frustrated, the things that you have allowed us to experience and the people you have introduced us to are irreplaceable.
And, finally, last, but definitely not least, to my amazing, intelligent, exciting, funny fellow program-mates (see picture below), you all are the best. There really is no other way to put it. From day one, I don't think we all realized what we were getting ourselves into and were confused when Ana Rita proclaimed that we'd become family. This has been quite the adventure all over Argentina and there are no other fifteen people that I would have rather gone through this semester-long experience with. Ishaira, from day one, your insight and wisdom as a immigrant to the US provided interesting comments during our conversations. Crawford, you are the sweetest and you were always so easy to find. Rachel, your perfect Spanish pushed me to improve mine. Ali, our vent sessions about life were always great (gotta love that our host families are related!). Liz, your honest opinions about the program and our group always opened my eyes to areas for improvement. Anna, you always kept us supplied with snacks. Hannah, watching you work at improving your Spanish was inspirational and I loved seeing how far you've come. Abel, although you didn't want to be here, you added so much to our group and always took being one of the only boys in stride. David, your humor and bluntness were always refreshing. Dana, you were always smiling and played your role as the group's photographer so well. Katelyn, our Semana Santa trip was something I'll never forget and you were a part of that. Gretchen, gurrrlll you are the funniest. Emily, keep showin' off that awesome eyebrow piercing you got here as it looks so good on you. And, finally, to Alexis and Hannah... I have no words. No no I do. We traveled together. We napped on each other. We lived together. We explored together. We celebrated my 21st birthday together. We ate such yummy meals together. We did so, so much together. To both of you, being able to go through this experience with you two has made it so much better so thank you.
To my entire group, hasta luego! Thank you for going through this journey with me. It has been weird and hard at times and spending all our time together has been interesting at points, but I will forever hold you all in a special place in my heart and associate you all with this experience. It is really interesting going through something like this with a group of complete strangers (and something I am not sure I was fully prepared for coming into the experience), especially when we weren't direct enrolled in a university and are each other's only classmates/peers/friends/support systems and spend almost every waking hour together (...and sleeping hours too!). Ana Rita was right. As all the tears show, in our own unique way, we have become our own little dysfunctional family, but what family isn't dysfunctional, right? I will truly miss you all so incredibly much. Thank you all for making this experience so great!
Next stop...Patagonia and glaciers! Some more traveling! Then, get ready, Argentina! Some of my favorite people in this world are coming to visit! Stay tuned for some final blog posts and then, my return to America!
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